One day, your friend contacts you or comes to you. They tell you that they have experienced sexual violence. It could have happened at home, at school, on campus, at work, on public transportation, or elsewhere. It may have happened just a few hours ago, or many years ago. As a friend, what should you do? Here are our suggestions:
- Listen and Believe
Listen without interrupting too much or interrogating them. Believe their story. Let them know that you believe them, and thank them for being brave enough and trusting you enough to share it with you. - Ask Before Touching
Some survivors may become sensitive or traumatized by physical touch because it can trigger painful memories. If you want to hug them, ask for permission first. For example, “I’d like to ask for your permission to hug you. Is that okay?” - Avoid Blaming Questions
Do not ask questions that could potentially blame the victim, such as: “What were you wearing at the time?”, “Why were you alone?”, “Why didn’t you scream?”, and so on. Reassure them that what happened was not their fault and that you support them. - Offer Help Without Being Forceful
You can provide information about the available options, such as reporting to the police, getting a medical examination (visum), counseling, etc. However, the survivor has the right to decide for themselves what steps they want to take. Our role is to support and respect their decision. This does not apply, however, if the survivor is still a minor or if there is a risk of serious and ongoing danger.
If the survivor agrees, you can contact Sahabat Perempuan dan Anak (SAPA) at 129 or via WhatsApp at 08-111-129-129 from the Ministry of Women’s Empowerment and Child Protection. In addition, you can reach out to the Task Force for the Prevention and Handling of Sexual Violence at the survivor’s campus or workplace. You may also file a report at the police station.
What Is Considered Sexual Violence?
Besides rape and molestation, other acts classified as sexual violence under the TPKS Law include: non-physical sexual harassment, physical sexual harassment, forced contraception, forced sterilization, forced marriage, sexual torture, sexual exploitation, sexual slavery, and technology-facilitated sexual violence.
Can Men Experience Sexual Violence?
Yes, men, non-binary individuals, and people of other gender identities can also experience sexual violence. Every case of sexual violence must be taken seriously, regardless of the gender identity of the survivor or the perpetrator.